Sometimes, when life is different to the one we had hoped for, we can find ourselves in unknown territory, managing a whole gathering of heightened emotions. This is particularly relevant when we are faced with a potentially life changing health event that results in a longer-term condition. Coming to peace and acceptance with where we are offers us the opportunity to understand ourselves at a much deeper level and encourages us to make positive steps that reshape life in the now. We are ever-changing; nothing remains permanent. Once we have moved beyond the initial shock, we can begin to process what it actually means for us now and focus our energies in support of what’s important.
From my own learning experiences, coming from a place of inner knowing has enabled me to truly find my purpose and passion in life! I now honour and listen to my body, as it holds the wisdom needed to heal.
My joyous pink boots
My journey started with my own experience of chronic illness and my mum’s diagnosis of ovarian cancer, all before I embarked on my NLP and coach training. Over a period of 15+ years, I had been suffering with chronic illness and found myself in serious health decline, which had reached the point of severely impacting my day-to-day life. I was a shadow of my former self, in constant pain and could not keep anything down, resulting in severe weight loss.
I made the decision to have a surgical menopause at 35, which, at the time, was quite brutal and had several complications. After three emergency surgeries in two weeks, I remember crying myself to sleep in hospital, full of fear that I wouldn’t make it out and worrying about everything in life, especially my daughter, who was 10 years old. At that time, I was totally disempowered. I didn’t know what I didn’t know, and that’s okay. I could no longer relate to or trust my body, was extremely fragile, had lost my confidence and felt totally debilitated and vulnerable. I didn’t feel I could ask for help and felt very isolated. On my return home to recover, I was looking out of the window one day, watching everyone going about their day-to-day lives, when it hit me, how life simply goes on, and that’s when I realised I wanted to stop existing and start living again!
My joyous pink boots sprung to mind. These boots were a gorgeous delicate pink suede, totally impractical on rainy days, and wonderful! They made me feel amazing, and yes, I can still feel them, see them, hear them and smell them even though they are no longer present. I decided to wear them to my outpatient appointment, to bring the glam to lift the experience! The boots reminded me of who I am and can be, lifted my spirits and offered me strength. Instantly, I was able to shed all of the other ‘story’ and approach life differently. They brought a huge smile to my face. To me, they represented my individualism, they were fun, a representation of my femininity, they were so soft and gentle, and when worn, they communicated with me and others.
Those pink boots helped me take my first steps in rebuilding myself and who I was at that point in time, having been through those experiences. They helped develop my courage, empowering me in making choices that felt right for me at that moment and the realisation that I had choices, no matter what challenges I faced. This time was also shared with my mother’s diagnosis and treatment for ovarian cancer. Mum came to live with me when she was given the news that she would be living with cancer and experiencing her journey had a huge impact on what happened next…
Mum passed away and losing her was a massive blow. She was my best friend and confidante, and we shared so many good times together, which I am always thankful for. During my grief and introspection, I looked back on her journey in photographs and memories and found myself reflecting on the very foundations of her lived experience: how she perceived the cancer (her map of the world), the impacts on her whole being (mind, body, soul, earth), the numerous interventions to extend her life, and how hard she found it to cope with at times and live well. At that time, her clinical route was limited. She did not have access to the wonderful holistic and complementary therapies and treatments that are available now, that acknowledge your wholeness.
A new career
I realised that I wanted to make a difference in other women’s lives, helping to improve outcomes as well as supporting their emotional health and wellbeing. So, with that in mind, I left my 20-year forensic career and embarked on a new career path in healthcare, specialising in cancer care at The Royal Marsden Hospital.
It was a time of great change, a complete leap of faith and had many challenges and opportunities in equal measure. It was here that I also started my personal development journey, funding my own training and development in NLP, coaching, clinical hypnotherapy and nature-connected mindfulness. NLP is a huge part of my life and helped me transform into who I am today. NLP really was the difference that made the difference in many aspects of my journey to date.
Over the years, I have followed my purpose and passion to support women living with and beyond cancer. I have been able to naturally develop and grow my skills, based on my own and others’ personal and professional experiences. I am drawn towards working with nature in a mindful and eco-somatic way for healing and restoration, especially in relation to shock, trauma and grief. It is a truly embodied way of working, full of self-discovery, promoting awareness, presence, inner growth and alignment in synergy with nature. Working with my clients in different environments, inside and outside, is extremely freeing, removing any perceived barriers of the process or expectations for both client and coach.
Coming from a place of inner knowing has enabled me to truly find my purpose and passion in life. Nature acts as co-facilitator and guide in these sessions, and really enables us to trust in our true nature, which is especially nurturing after our foundations have been shaken or temporarily lost. We are nature, after all.
Eco-somatic practice
So, what is eco-somatic practice and how can it help us, especially in times of health challenges?
The name eco means ecological or environmental and somatic means of the body. Therefore, eco-somatic practices enable us to foster a stronger connection with nature, enhancing our mind/body/spirit/earth connections, and developing a more attuned, empathic, intelligent and harmonious relationship with the world around us. As a healing and integration approach, eco-somatic practice aims to repair a sense of disconnection from our bodies and separation from the earth by engaging in practices that support our nervous systems to access safety, and nurture our capacity to embody the present moment and trust the impulse of our inner nature in response to the ebb and flow of outer nature.
By facilitating the client in reconnection with their ‘external landscape’ we can also help them reconnect with their ‘inner landscape’ and start to develop control and clarity that shifts them towards what they want through insights and overall sensory experience. This is an extremely beneficial approach when working with my clients, who have often been living in survival mode to get themselves through treatment and beyond. Many describe what is in effect a disconnect within themselves as their nervous system acts to protect them.
Many clients arrive in overwhelm and find it very difficult to relate to and trust their bodies again. They describe the body as something separate from themselves, along with many other different parts. The common use of ‘battle’ style language often makes them feel less than, that it’s their fault, that they are ‘at war’ with themselves. In our work together, we foster compassion, kindness and connection towards the self and start to feel an open dialogue with the body. We can create space to bring awareness, inviting our living landscape to express, and gently accessing the wisdom held, nurturing self-trust and compassion in reclaiming their stress and health.
Through this practice, we are able to expand our own felt sense of self and wellbeing as well as the wider ecological structure, climate awareness and relationships within, including our own part in it. Our own sense of belonging increases and our sense of purpose can be discovered in the process. Having experienced my own trauma and grief, I have found the greatest joys are found in nature and the simplicity of life, giving me the time to pause, and I practise simple daily rituals such as lying in the grass, wiggling my toes in the dewy grass, listening to birdsong, watching clouds, feeling the breeze on my skin and the sun on my face, observing the cycles of nature, living at its own pace. We can amplify all these joys by being in the moment.
Through eco-somatic practice, we are able to expand our own felt sense of self and wellbeing as well as the wider ecological structure, including our own part in it.
The Reimagined Life
I feel that the eco-somatic approach is life-changing and joyous in so many ways and really wanted to share this with my clients in a more immersive way. I have wanted to hold my own retreat for as long as I can remember (it is on my dreams list) and last year it felt like the right time for me to make it happen. The Reimagined Life retreat is a transformative four-day experience for women navigating life after cancer.
In keeping with NLP tradition, I wanted to explore, learn and model from those who are leaders in their field of expertise, and I found a husband-and-wife team with many years of experience in the retreat business. So, last October, I went to Cornwall to be part of their retreat mastery programme and ‘went on retreat, to design my retreat’.
I followed this up with six months of one-to-one coaching and was able to model the ‘ideal’ retreat for my audience (who were also involved in the modelling), stepping right into my dream of an immersive, nature-oriented and embodied experience that was sensitive to the needs and expectations of my clients.
The venue to complement my retreat saw me research and visit multiple venues across the south of England, and of course, I found the ideal place! The Reimagined Life is now born!
The sensory experience has been a joy to blend, and each day offers a creative experience that explores the client’s story in different dimensions, offering insights, understanding and self-help tools to guide them through their thoughts, feelings and behaviours. We cultivate awareness for change whilst keeping our clients psychologically safe. It is a creative journeying, enables trauma processing and includes an artistic exploration, building presence and acceptance of where and who they are now.
Sound, movement and touch open new perspectives and build vision and intentions for the future, all woven together with the golden thread of nature and our clients’ alignment with their true nature throughout the four days.
This is a legacy that honours my mum and the countless women who face similar challenges with resilience and grace. It is a truly life-enhancing experience.
